There is this saying, “do whatever which pleases you” or “life is short, be happy.” I agree with it as a choice in life, which means to look at life positively. But i disagree to use it when making decisions. I believe people who stand firm on this phrase when making decision, will discover that they have yet to accomplish anything in life when they reach old age.
We often heard, “开心就好，你管这么多做设么？” but does it really work? I believe when you are reading this, there will be many instants that come to your mind when you say that phrase. I remember many instants which i use the above in decision making, over a home visitation or a party, over a branded wallet or savings for future, over a bottle of martell or stay sober. It may sound perfectly fine just to have fun, but there are some situation where this phrase become selfish. We often think of our own pleasure and cause pain to people around us. I notice this phrase often bring pleasure that doesn’t last for long and people will keep using this phrase again and again because they need to rekindle the pleasure again and again for the fact that it doesn’t last.
When making a decision, to buy a sports car or a family car, we need to plan for long term, see our level of commitment and plan for the worst. If not, we will be in trouble when things turn bad and trust me, things always turn bad in this world. When we make a decision over to home visit a relative or a party, we might want to think of the value of each situation and be unselfish to our decision. When you need to go for a meeting in office tomorrow morning, and your good friend ask you to party with him and his chicks, will you use “开心就好，你管这么多做设么？” to see the big picture? I can think of 101 situations and you can see that after the whole process, you and your love ones will be the consequence of your decision. Are you really heartless enough to bring everybody through the decision you make? In the 1st situation, your family and yourself will be affected. In the 2nd situation, your relative, your friends and yourself will be affected. 3rd decision, your boss, your colleague and yourself will be affected.
The above are direct examples, there are many indirect situations which we use “开心就好，你管这么多做设么？” and neglected our love ones. I remember there was once, my grandmother told me to come home for dinner, i agreed but didn’t obey because i was out with girls. I left my grandmother waiting for me and re-heat the food for nothing. Although she didn’t make any noise and still smile when i go home, but what i just did was turning hope into disappointment. How would you feel if your lover do that to you? Or you heat up food for your mother just to know that she is too busy playing majong and neglected you? It may be tough for you to love somebody who don’t love you, but are you loving back people who are already loving you? Is there any extra mile involved?
I am not perfect and not a noble man of the earth, but i just want to share some values i learned recently and hope it can change my life. I am starting to look for love and pleasure which has a meaning and will last, not temporary. When you become unselfish, you will find yourself sacrificing all the time and very miserable. Hence the phrase, sow with tears and reap with joy. Find every opportunity to give and you will be the greatest receiver.
There are some things in life you can afford not to gain, but you cannot afford to lose.
