.: HotCooler :.

I once had a friend, we were very close intitially. We played, learned about life and enjoy days together. There was trust, fellowship and brotherly love. Then, I did something terrible. I cheated Him of His everything, betrayed His trust and ran away leaving Him to be in difficult state. I then enjoyed my life leaving Him alone in the lurch. Years later, I created a series of trouble and went into hiding. I owe a lot of different people a lot of money, I have no shelter and no food. Then, someone came and paid every debt I have with all that He has; it was Him. I have no courage to face Him, but still, He found me in the end. He invited me to stay in His house and offer me food to eat. I couldn’t comprehend and asked Him why. He replied, “I was never angry and have always treated you as my closest friend. You can take advantage of me a thousand times, and I will still forgive you.”

I was reading Joshua today and I somehow felt that my life is similar to the whole story regarding the isrealites occupying the promise land.

Promised land to me today, talks about deliverance, blessing, God’s will - His planned gift. It’s about His blessings and goodness.

As similar as it can be and as relative as it can be, I find that many Christians are in the same walk as me.

We were in bondage for as long as we live and crying out to as many gods as we know ever since we were born. The gods of luck, gambler, money, love and wat-so-ever. Then somebody came in the name of God(EL Shaddai) and try to bring us out of our bondage and slavery. This very step will cause a warfare as the evil one wants to trap us and to own us.

After we got out of Egypt, which means we have believed in Christ and born again, this is usually where our journey really begins.
We often hear about God’s promise on our lives before we believe in Christ, but after believing in Christ and not seeing the good things, we start complaining / doubting about His promise. Like the people in the wilderness, they complain about any and everything. When Moses told about the 10 commandments, people don’t follow. When Moses goes up to mountain, people start worshipping other gods. When Moses build Tabernacle, people ask about promised land. When God rain bread, people say Egypt and slavery is better. Many of us, we are the same. We focus so much on God’s promises alone until we got blind about His presence, His goodness and His love. 40 years is a long time, but what should seperate us from God? Should distress or suffering or pleasure? Nothing should seperate this bond Jesus Christ suffered for.

More often than not, we get to the promised land even though the complaining and cursing along the way. And we often thought that life should be a bed of roses after we get there - not. We start to panic and complain when our promise land is filled with giants and fortified cities. Other than Caleb and Joshua, no one actually have the faith to believe our God is bigger than the giants. And there, we say to ourselves, Egypt is better. We complain again, “God! why you give me the land but still put giants in it? You bluff me!!” I guess faith is for us to make right decision in believing. In every of our situation.

After we enter our promised land, we still can’t sit back and watch, we need to do things(sometimes with no logic) and fight before we can possess our promised land and truely enjoy His blessings. Those who chickened out didnt get to enjoy the land filled with honey and milk and it shall be the same for us in our walk.

I come to understand that, receiving God’s ultimate blessing for us in our lives may not be an easy task. We are often so focus and impatient for blessing until we got foolish and faithless. There are much to do in our lifes, preparation, repentance, charater development, clearance of obstacles, and so on. Be it the promised land of your life be your destiny in Christ according to will of God, Paul says we never stop running, never stop fighting, win the prize that will last eternally.

No matter which step you are in now, always remember, God is doing your things ahead of you, and He is all you need in your race.

I asked God, how good would it be to have Him in a box with me, a box isolated from suffering, stress, temptation, luxury, choice, curiosity, wealth, relationships etc. That all I get to experience is the fullness of His presence and focus of the relationship.

But again, this box might be the earth, and all that mentioned are His tools…
(and so, this box should not be where I belong ultimately)

There is a feeling, a feeling within the confuse state of my mind, power within this captivity, strength within my weakness, plaster to my wound, bandage to my bleeding, comfort to my fright, hope to my hopelessness, assistance when I can’t speak, peace to my chaos, love to my pain, security to my mess, sight for my direction, faith for my future, word for my understanding, truth for what I have been deceived and denied, kindness for my growth, mercy to my wrong doing, wonders for my experience.

Your water brings life, work brings glory, love brings joy, heart brings mercy, joy carry strength, word brings revelation, presence bring comfort, grace bring salvation, awesomeness bring praises, spirit brings overflowing of who You are and You are for my abundance living.

You hasn’t change the situation, just telling me that You are near, with You near, there is hope and strength and power and glory and love and truth and faith and life and so much more than those which I thought I needed, and from here, I can experience what I need to experience in order to understand what that is needed to be understood. With experience, understanding, meaning, knowledge, I will be able to attain a new life, a new type of life.

It may never be complete here because the more we know about our experience will increase the lack of knowledge of others, so there will be this pursue of understanding which the meaning of all these is inside the experience and understanding itself. If life may never be complete, then it will be empty unless there is a purpose.

And my purpose is the reason of how and why I felt this today…

We often hear mom saying, everyday is mother’s day if my kids are filial..
Couples saying, everyday can be valentine’s day if we are in love..
People saying, I’m not Christian, so Christmas is just another day for me..

I do agree to some of the saying above, but i choose to think an extra step furthur..

I always believe anniversary, holidays and other meaningful dates are opporunity to show appreciation. We are living in such a fast pace and stressful world until we often forget to value the people close to us. They are so near until we lost focus on them. I believe meaningful dates serve us a reminded on have we forgotten about someone, or to take a break and spend effort appreciating someone.

To me, these dates are also reasons to create miracles. For example, to salvage a relationship? to apologize? to visit a long lost person?

Lastly, have we forgotten to prioritize the value of each date? Is Christmas for partying only? Is chinese new year for ang baos & food only? Is valentine’s day about flowers and dinner only?

2009, a new year, a new start, a new hope, a new mindset, a new encouragement, a new path.
A new path to be paved, to be nourish, to be cherish, to be loved, to be prepared.
A preparation with hard work, with commitment, with controlled emotions, with lessons learned.
Lessons learned are to be analysed, to be understood, to be faced.
Facing old mistakes and new expectations.
Expecting a whole new world.

Friends, Lover, Family, Goals, Career, Spiritual, Love.

Of everything that has ended, love lingers….

Floating in the middle of the ocean, all cold and dark with no directions.
Lost in emotion, disheartening situation, dim future, what a bad year.
Economic failure which make people unsure, happy plans may need to defer.
Shouldn’t fear! Maybe it’s an opportunity to show who is capable.

When the going gets tough, the tough wakes up and laugh.
Enough of hiding and being cuffed, good time to lead a new path.
Prepare all the neccesary stuff to face the sea which is rough.
Enjoying the pain to plan and draft, ignoring the cuts as result don’t bluff.

But, are we really that tough?
It is a decision by us.

I came to learn about an incident.
I was devastated.
I once thought everything happened after the blood dried up.
I am wrong.
I was already in pain when I saw the bleeding.
I was very much paralysed by pain when I saw the bleeding.
I tried limited ways to slow down the bleeding but not effective enough.
I was restless and helpless when I didn’t have any solution for my pain and the bleeding.
I then found the way to stop the bleeding.
I take heart and precision in the preparation of the solution.
I did not know the blood was already drying up as I was busy preparing.
I saw the end with my two eyes.
I gave up as everything has ended.
1 thing didn’t end…..

When you know there is no way to stop something from ending, what would you do NOW?
When you are able to stop something from ending, what else could you do other than focusing on solution alone?
When you are not sure if you can stop something from ending, what would you focus on NOW?

Is there anything precious and might have an end other than life?

We fail to see, what’s in the box.
Chose stubborn seat, door closed and locked.
Selfish indeed, bias judgment in court.
Tight down our feet, rejected the talk.

There’re values to keep, great plans installed.
But acted unwillingly, no courage to explore.
Of what we missed, we questioned what is it for.
Should we cherish? Or smash it down to the floor.

Gap still persist, neglecting our thoughts.
Nobody insist, to know what went wrong.
Lack of maturity, accountability at fault.
Responsibility’s list, no effort to sort.

Respect created these? I believe it did not.
Reason for unpaid fees, we are running short.
Resting on green leaves, believing knot is gone.
Reached the deepest pit, it will be back to haunt.

Hmm.. september was here and over very fast.. didnt spend much money.. juz on those new toys below..

Another “big” thing i did was to get myself a new image. Til date.. people around me seems to dislike that look and many suggest i go back to my spikey hair.. =(

What you think?

This website is invaded by spams!!! Arghhhhh!!

Those irritating idiots crawl to my blog and keep spamming on the comments section. Everyday have to log in just to delete, how shitty. So from now on, anybody who wants to leave any comments(not many anyway) will have to register 1st. Anybody can register though.

Maybe a set of good coilovers?
Maybe a good fund of unit trust?
Maybe a good package of digital SLR camera?
or
Maybe a good unit of computer!

Because i need a computer….. i bought 1…. WOOHOO!!~

Finally manage to squeeze some photos out from guowei on the outing to partyworld where we celebrated his bday on 9th of June. After looking at the photos, I think we still look like a bunch of ah bengs(kind hearted 1s) but we are not not lar.. we are actually nerds..

Didn’t want to cut my hair initially because i’m still waiting for my hair to grow longer, but since the last time i visited my hair stylist was about 2 mths ago, i decided to trim my hair today as it is getting difficult to manage also. And the end result the cut is…

(eeeeeek.. ugly eye bags)

Didn’t want my hair to feel like a stack of hay(my hair is really dry) or some wire, so i asked my hairstylist if there is any lotion or treatment i can use to bring my hair back alive and she recommanded me this..

 
                          (ta-da~~)

Oh man, this is the most expensive shampoo + treatment conditioner i’ve ever bought in my life. But since i’m gonna keep long hair, i have to invest a bit to keep it more hair-like. LoL 

Was walking past That CD Shop at Tiong Bahru Plaza and the 1st thing that came into the my mind is the new Linkin Park album. They have not let me down since their 1st production. While i’m still walking and hesistating if i should enter the shop, i saw this employee inside the shop which is quite sweet. And she, is the deciding factor of this CD. To end the story, i entered, talked, bought and left. LoL

So much for Linkin Park’s long awaited album..